3/24/12

b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l

When scrolling through my facebook newsfeed a few days ago, I saw a post that caught my attention. A long distance friend had been browsing swimsuits online, and found a stunning one-piece suit that she posted to her profile. I clicked on the picture and was surprised to be greeted with, not a short "I want this!" but, instead a lengthy and negative reaction towards the appearance of the woman modeling the suit. 


She used words like anorexic, nasty, and bones, before saying "Please, someone tell me what's sexy about caved in thighs necks bones that protrude from her chest and arms the size of a pencil? Cause I don't quite understand."


THE Suit

As I kept reading, she and other Facebook friends commented how "unsexy" the woman was. How she wasn't "attractive". How she looked "nasty". They implied that she didn't look womanly, without ample curves.
I read, "Who wants to grab a hold of a woman that could potentially snap right in half. I mean seriously Cuddling would be painful for the man cuddled up to that bag of bones. Curves are in and here to stay. Curves are gorgeous and sexy!"

Instantly, I was hurt. 

Though the comments were not directed towards me personally, how else could I feel when my own body more closely resembled the image they were criticizing than the voluptuous image of beauty these women were painting with their hurtful words?

Often, people comment to me at work or at school about how thin I look. I hear comments referring to how "tiny" I am, and about how my "bones stick out", or that I "need to gain weight". Many of those who make such comments aren't doing it to be intentionally cruel. But these comments hurt. I would never make comments to someone with curves saying how "big" they are, or how their "curves stick out" or that they needed "to lose weight". That would be cruel, and hurtful!

I do not have curves. I am a size 1, 32B, 102 lb. woman. But I am a woman.
If given the choice, would I opt for watermelons on my chest and a size 6 waist? Yessir!
But does that mean I am un-beautiful because I don't resemble that woman? No!


Not every thin girl tries to maintain the "skinny" image. I have tried to gain weight. And I do eat. A lot! But genetics hold me back, and I haven't gained more than a few pounds. I'm not nearly as athletic as I'd like to be. I don't over exercise. In fact, I don't exercise enough. To be honest, my little muscles could use a little tone.

When I thought about why I was offended by their comments, I realized that what hurt me most was not what they were saying, but how they were saying it. They were not simply conveying an interest in the model's health, but instead, they were putting down another woman for the way she looked. And that is what hurt the most. 

Underweight, overweight, athletic, slim, tall, petitie, busty, dark-skinned, fair skinned. These things do not define beauty. Beauty is who you are and how you affect the lives of those around you
Sexy isn't a number on the scale. Sexy is confidence.. 

No matter what we look like, we are human. And that, in itself, is something incredibly beautiful.

6 comments:

  1. A-muthafuckin-men! When I was a teen I was SO skinny and I ate so much junk food and never exercised. I used to get made fun of for it and I hated it. I felt just as self conscious about the way I looked as someone who is overweight. There is nothing wrong with being skinny. There is nothing wrong with being bigger. There is something wrong with picking on someone because of their weight. What if you did have an eating disorder? Would calling you names really help? No. That model is gorgeous and definitely has some "curves". I honestly think that people say things like the comments you mentioned just to make themselves feel better.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I know exactly how you feel - throughout my entire life I was always tiny. When I was young and visiting friends' houses their parents always forced food on me because they thought my parents didn't feed me, in junior high and high school people accused me of being anorexic and I was forced by my school to go to a doctor and be tested, and although my immediate family made fun of how much I would eat, relatives would force food on me because I was "too skinny" even though my aunts are my same size. Those things hurt. With effort, I've gain some weight - I'm now 5'5", 120lbs, 32A, size 6 waist...and thankfully don't receive as much criticism, but I understand what it's like. I'm happy that you're happy with yourself - you're extremely beautiful just the way you are. Thank you for sharing this message. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. You hit the nail right on the head with this post! I know how you feel! I have always been tiny as well, although I eat constantly! I blame it on my high metabolism, but it never fails when I go to relatives or friends they'll tell me that I look like I lost weight? I honestly don't gain weight nor do I lose it.. It's just kinda there. So glad to hear I'm not in the same boat!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Very well said! I'm 5'4", 120 lbs, size 4, and people at work are constantly telling me that I'm too skinny - but they're always trying to feed me cookies and ice cream and coffee!! I try to eat healthier than that! Admittedly, I am not always successful (I totally had ice cream for dinner Thursday night), but my metabolism keeps me this size. There's nothing wrong with my size, and in fact, I have fat on my belly and flab on my thighs that I'm trying to get rid of - strangers just can't see that under my clothes.
    People need to stop judging by looks.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I agree with you. It's sad when other women tear each other down. We are all women, no matter our shape or size!

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are right! This is something that I have felt strongly about. There are two sides. Why is it ok to make-fun of and talk so negatively about thin women, yet it is socially unacceptable to talk about overweight women? Both are wrong. I think that it's easy to see the grass as greener and be insecure about ourselves... and pick apart others who are different than we are.

    ReplyDelete